When You Coming Home?
by Kavbj
Summary: It's annoying. Lavi's away all the time on missions, so why the hell is this time any different? Kanda forces himself to ignore it, to stick to his routine. And it works. Kind of. For a little bit. Not really. Not at all, if he's to be honest. And it's really bloody annoying. LaviYuu OneShot


Yo yo~ here's another oneshot for all you darling readers.

Quick: a little background on the song and singer! So this song is beautiful. And I've wanted to write something for it for ages (always plotting on the train rides home from uni) so definitely give it a listen. And check out the rest of Mike Dignam's songs! I worked at one of the Australian 5 Seconds of Summer shows and Mike Dignam was the opening act for them and he's so lovely. And his girlfriend is awesome. He was also the opening act for American Authors (who I've also had the privilige of meeting and who I also insist you check out) on their UK tour and they agreed with me: he's really really nice.

So yeah~ check him out, check out the song, and enjoy the oneshot!

~ Kavbj

* * *

_**When You Coming Home**_

_Mike Dignam_

It takes Kanda longer than it probably should to notice it. Well, yeah, he notices Lavi's absence from day one. It's hard not to. The redhead is loud and intrusive and clingy and - and warm, Kanda has to admit. When Lavi slides into his bed at night and presses up against Kanda's back, the Bookman Junior is warm.

But it isn't until Kanda returns from his third mission in as many weeks that he _notices_.

He passes Lavi's room on the way to his and stops in front of it, staring at the door. He frowns, tilts his head. Lavi left four weeks ago. So when's he coming home?

* * *

Komui is surprised to see him because, well, it's Kanda and Kanda doesn't just stop by. He splutters, shakes his hand to free the piece of paper stuck to it, and puts his pen down. "Kanda-kun," he says, unable to break out of the habit as Lenalee has. He folds his arms on the desk in front of him and smiles. "What can I do for you?"

Kanda looks to the side, rolls the words around his mouth. "Lavi. Where is the idiot?"

Komui blinks. "Lavi?" He laughs. "Oh! Our dear Bookman Junior is quite alive, quite safe."

Though Kanda hates to admit, the painful squeezing in his chest that had been forcing him to fight not to double over eases. He's not MIA. Not KIA. Not AWOL. That's… good. That's good. "So you know where he is?"

Komui nods hesitantly. He grimaces a bit. "Yes," he says slowly. "I do."

Kanda stares at him, frowning. Why the odd answer? "Ok. And where is he? If his mission is taking this long someone should be sent to assist him. Otherwise we're wasting time and resources."

"Ah, Kanda-kun." Komui takes off his beret, runs a hand through his hair, then puts his hat back on. "It's not really that kind of mission. I do and don't know where they are. I just know the country. And the general-ish area."

Once upon a time, Kanda had this theory that hanging around Lavi would infect him with his stupidity. That theory took a while to die, but it did, because Kanda had to grudgingly admit that Lavi was intelligent. Very intelligent. And cunning. And manipulative. And… largely untrustworthy, but Kanda doesn't dwell on that. Now, however, he's back to his original theory, because lately he finds himself growing very confused very easily.

He frowns at Komui some more. "They?"

Komui smiles slowly at him. "Yes, Kanda-kun, they. Didn't you know? He went with Bookman."

He didn't even know the old man was away. "A mission with Bookman?" The old man hasn't been out on a mission in… ages.

"Yes," Komui tells him softly, and Kanda can tell the other is observing him, surveying him, and it ticks him off. He wants to ask when the redhead is coming home but doesn't.

"Che." He turns on his heel and storms from his room. "Here's hoping the pair don't get themselves killed," he calls over his shoulder.

* * *

Noticing it annoys Kanda because, well, he's noticed it now, and he can't un-notice it, and he's keenly aware of Lavi's absence. And it's the small things that bug him, like waiting to be swamped here, and waiting to be called Yuu-Chan~ there, and this is usually the time that he gets dragged into the library and down onto the couch, or into a room and down onto a bed.

It's fucking annoying. Lavi's away all the time on missions, so why the hell is this time any different? Kanda forces himself to ignore it, to stick to his routine. And it works.

Kind of.

For a little bit.

Not really.

Not at all, if he's to be honest.

And it's fucking annoying.

* * *

It's the tightness in his shoulders and the headaches this causes that get to him first. Maybe. Or maybe it's the inability to get to sleep as of late. That's also a maybe. Or, maybe, it's the both. They're kind of connected, he reasons, because he can't relax in sleep and it's making him tense, and being tense is making it harder to sleep.

But that's ok, he tells himself. He's used to that. It's not like missions make sleeping and relaxing all that easy.

He just snaps at the Finders a little more.

Insults (and spars) a little more with the damned Moyashi.

Mediates a little more (and sometimes Lenalee will join him).

And he eats a little less.

And zones out more than he should.

The tiredness has gotten into his bones and he takes to meditating more and more and more but he can't keep his focus like he needs to. So meditating, as of late, has become a process of 'staring out the window in a tired daze' with his mind a field of clouds and his thoughts lumps of cotton candy.

And when he does finally sleep, sleeps so well that he rolls over expecting a warm chest and warm neck to press his nose to (no, this never happens intentionally. Never. It happens in his sleep. Always in his sleep.) he flounders when he finds cold sheets.

When this happens a third time, Kanda lays on his back, staring up at the ceiling, arm draped over his forehead. This is getting beyond ridiculous. He was sure… sure there'd been another person's breathing in the room last night. He fell asleep to it. And you know what, why - why did it even matter if Lavi was here or not? They'd spent plenty of nights apart, sleeping in separate beds.

Groaning, Kanda flips onto his stomach, buries his head under his pillow, and huffs out a breath. He stares into the darkness.

This is getting ridiculous, he thinks, the thought feeling quiet and dismal and a little longing.

He knows Lavi's safe - Komui's been sure to keep him updated. But -

He groans again and shuts his eyes. This is so beyond ridiculous. But -

But when is Lavi coming home?

* * *

He's sitting in the dining hall, soba untouched in front of him, freshly returned from another mission, when Lenalee slides into the seat across from him. He doesn't acknowledge her presence. Or more he doesn't acknowledge her arrival. His chin is propped in his hand and his gaze is trained on the back of a Finder's head, but his mind is miles away.

His thoughts are tracking their way through Europe, mapping out the continent, connecting dots with the locations of his missions, figuring out where the hell Lavi could be. He hasn't bothered to ask Komui what country the Bookmen duo are in because - well it's bad enough that Komui keeps giving him updates. He doesn't want to appear as though he might actually give a shit.

That he might care - just a little.

That he might be wo -

"Kanda."

He startles when two warm palms settle over his clenched fist on the table. He blinks at Lenalee, trying to figure out when she sat down. He clears his throat and straightens, pulling his hands back to himself and out of her grip. "Lenalee." It's curt, as it should be, but his voice is hoarse.

"Jerry's worried you're not eating," she says, smiling down at his untouched meal. "He's worried he's stopped making it nicely. That his cooking skills are letting you down. And it's the only thing you'll eat so…"

Kanda blinks tiredly at his meal. He's so tired the thought of using chopsticks, of having to lift food to his mouth, of having to _chew_, tires him out even more. He's showered, he's clean, he's in comfortable clothes, and he's pretty sure he's not hungry.

So he stands, abruptly bids Lenalee good night (though she raises her brows at him then giggles and says something about it being midday) and promptly leaves the mess hall. He'll go swing Mugen a bit first, tire himself out real good, and then he'll be able to sleep. Then he'll sleep really well and really deeply and his mind will stop wondering when the hell Lavi's supposed to be coming home.

* * *

Kanda sighs and leans Mugen up against the wall. He's already in the process of pulling his training shirt up over his head when his shins hit the bed and he groans, sinking down on his knees to sit on the mattress. Throwing the shirt to the ground, he falls forward, face hitting the pillow.

And it smells familiar.

A nice familiar.

But the wrong familiar.

Kanda jerks up, swearing loudly as he scrambles to all fours and then shuffles back until he can stand. No. Fuck no. He grabs his shirt, sweeps up Mugen and storms from the room.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

No, no, no.

Fuck no, fuck no.

Fuck.

No.

* * *

Allen blinks as Kanda storms past, swearing under his breath. He's got Mugen in one hand and his training shirt balled up in the other. The Japanese Exorcist doesn't notice him, just keeps going on his angry path. Suddenly he stops, turns on his heel, and heads back the way he came, still swearing. Again, Allen blinks.

A few minutes later, Kanda crosses Allen's path again. Allen frowns. "What…?"

The older Exorcist is still swearing, still angry, still storming through the Order, but now he has a collection of the standard issue blankets bundled up and tucked under the one arm. Allen watches him go, watches him disappear into his room, where the Brit is sure Kanda has his own standard issue blankets, and watches him slam the door shut.

"The hell…?" Shaking his head, Allen mutters under his breath about BaKanda being more baka than usual and heads for his own room.

* * *

Kanda hates to admit it but it's the best sleep he's had in the past two months.

* * *

Allen is the first person Lavi sees upon his return back home. He left the old panda at the docks, uncaring if he would get scolded later for not finishing records or some shit. He's too tired and he doesn't care. He just wants his own room, his own bed, and maybe - if he can convince Yuu - his own cuddle buddy.

"You're back!"

Lavi pauses, about to open his bedroom door, and turns to Allen. He smiles tiredly and musses up his hair. "Ah, yeah. Just now."

Allen inclines his head at the door. "I think Kanda still has your sheets."

Lavi frowns and blinks at his door. What?

"I'll catch you later," Allen calls over his shoulder as he walks away.

Lavi cracks his door open and finds his bed bare. Just the mattress and the frame. He stares at it blankly before realisation creeps onto him and he chuckles. He kicks his bag inside and closes the door quickly, hoping to catch Allen before the Brit gets too far away.

"Hey, Allen! Exactly where is Yuu right now?"

* * *

He's too tight, too tense, all off. Not going well, not relaxing into it, not getting into the swing of things. This is by far the worst training session of his life. With a growl, he swings Mugen again. The attack has no aim, no intent. It's childish and impulsive and he does it a few more times, feeling a little better. Too bad there's nothing to hack to pieces because -

He senses someone come up behind him and whirls around. Mugen's tip brushes their throat.

Lavi laughs and pushes Mugen away. He steps forward with the motion, fingers brushing over the inside of Kanda's wrist, and Kanda lets his weapon swing down by his side. "Hey, Yuu!"

Kanda stares at the redhead, one hip cocked, expression blank. The redhead is grinning, head tilted to the side. He looks tired though, and Kanda can sympathise bloody fucking well with that. "Che," he says at last. He turns to resume his training, pretending that he's appearing as impassive and disinterested as he intends when really, he knows his eyes are too soft, his voice too fond, and his smirk too… _smily_. He raises Mugen and slides into his stance with none of his previous tension. "Welcome home, Baka Usagi."

_Do you need me, do you need me, or are you fine alone?_

'_Cause I've not been sleeping, I've missed you breathing next to me_

_And if I drift off, I must be dreaming that you're really here_

_Then I wake to see no one's been in these sheets._

_I know you're out there, somewhere without me._

_I know you're out there, so if you're coming,_

_When you coming home?_


End file.
